I went to the PIT this Saturday.

For those not in the know, the PIT is the student bar on campus at UBC. And I had not been there for over a year.

It seemed that my absence had done little to change the atmosphere. Yet, it still seemed that regardless of my absence I still managed to know almost everyone at the PIT.

That is, except, the guy who wanted to fight me, of course.

Yes, that’s right. A gentleman wanted to fight silly old me.

Strange, I know. I hadn’t been in a real fight since grade 5 when I kicked a kid and he started to cry. It was strange and unreal, but in the end I came out with a full beer and my girlfriend, and really I think those are the only things that matter.

The events that unfolded were absolutely ridicoulous:

This guy butted in line and offered to buy me a beer. “Pale Ale”, I said. When it came to pay the bartender (an old acquintance of mine), he paid with his own money and me with mine. That’s when the trouble started.

“Give the lady a fuckin’ tip” he yelled at me.

“I’m going to once I get to the jar”

“Look. I paid twenty dollars for these two beers. Pay the fuckin’ lady”

“I’m going to…”

And that’s about the time I slammed a dollar into the tip jar, thus enraging this gentleman enough to tell me that I was a “big man on campus” as he threw a dollar twenty-five over the counter (far and way from the tip jar).

This is also when he pushed me.

And this is when I pushed back.

…And this is when he grabbed my hair. In an awkward and strange unfolding, this gentleman decided that I was the antichrist, and that my hair was clearly the devil. Pulling with unclear abandon, he managed to struggle with me while the crowd kept us in our small bubble of booziness and hatred.

This is when the bouncers came in, ripping my shirt off (I’m sooo manly), and the bartenders awesomely voiched for me and got the guy kicked out, and me, my paid for beer.

Some times justice is served…although I still wish I could’ve clocked the guy in the face…or anywhere really.

Phone is ringing…Oh my God.